Start with Why

 The Power of "Why"

Every great endeavour starts with a compelling "why." For me, this blog is a space to explore and share my journey. Understanding the deeper reasons behind what we do can transform our thoughts into actions and make a meaningful impact. At least that's what Simon Sinek and some other people much smarter than me say about the topic, and I tend to believe them.

That being said, I figured if you truly believe something, you are compelled to act on it. This brings some more fundamental questions like, do we really have control over the outcome of our lives? Possibly more on that topic later, but for now, I agree with Steven Bartlett, who said it much better than I ever could in his book The Diary of a CEO. Can anyone remember which rule it is? Hint - it has to do with choosing your beliefs.

These two authors are most of the inspiration behind this blog - but it doesn't quite answer why. The real why, is my daughter. She was born at the end of 2023 and made me come to grips with mortality. Everyone's mortality. I mean, we all understand the concept of death, while some fear it, others accept it. And the rest of us? We ignore it until something so precious enters the world that we cannot help but wonder how to prevent it entirely.

Now what?

Not so fast! We've first got to deal with the "how". Well, there really isn't a way to get around death, but that's really not the point. The point is the exact opposite - to truly make the most of being alive. That's the why. The how? Well, by living as deeply, purposefully and intentionally as possible. This is something I never really understood, and I feel like I really only "woke up" after quitting smoking. Yes, reading The Diary of a CEO gave me the understanding I needed to kick the proverbial can (down the road, hopefully) and quit that habit. I have to confess, I wasn't smoking cigarettes anymore - it was a vape - but I suspect those are even more addictive (another post I'm planning for later!).

How Does One Really Live Intentionally?

I'll skip the awesome GPT-based answer and give you my two cents on it, but really, neither of those would be correct, as I think this topic should be answered by introspection.

First and foremost – figure out your values. What I found helped here was spending time with my own thoughts. Who you are when nobody can see you is really who you are, and the only way you can figure that out is through deep thought and reflection. And the only way to do that is to really spend time with yourself.

Find some goals that align with those values. Write them down. Speak them to yourself in the mirror (weird, I know). Whatever you do, do not tell anyone about these (yet). At least I didn't – I heard some guy on a podcast go on about how delayed gratification is something we need to actively seek – and avoided doing that. This post is actually the first time I'm really speaking these goals out into the world, and boy, is it frightening.

The first goal for me – learning how to write. Why? Brace yourselves – another The Diary of a CEO comment coming. Learn by reading, understand through writing, and master by teaching. Great, I want to become a master at a few topics – being a good dad, control systems, optimization routines, software and software architecture, philosophy (to an extent) – but I can't write properly. At least I feel that way sometimes. Other times, I read a fellow non-native Englishman's writing, and I realize they too have artefacts from their first language that stumble across into the English language.

A quick detour to wrap up a previous point – this bit is the what (from The Golden Circle). Writing. I definitely plan on making some posts about coherency, and those will take a bit of time to put together, but for now, I figured just beginning is the best way to go about it.

Okay, back to the main thing we were busy with. The third (and maybe fourth?) idea is to prioritize and manage your time like you actually care. Put down that phone, stop scrolling for a few minutes (ironically, you're probably reading this on your mobile), and figure out what you should be paying attention to. Basically, learn to say no to things that don't align with your values and goals. One of the better mental tricks I figured out to quit smoking, particularly when a bad craving arose, was to figure out what I should be thinking about that matters, instead of getting a nicotine hit. The next thing was to act – pay attention to whatever it was, whether it was folding that washing or slicing your driver into the "boendoes" (bush, for those who aren't native Afrikaans speakers). Move from Addiction to Connection!

Last, and certainly not least, reflect. Any and all control theory will tell you how useful feedback is in stabilizing things. Reflect on whether you managed to prioritize (and act accordingly) to achieve your goals. Then figure out if those goals ended up being in line with your values, and re-adjust as necessary.

To learn something, read about it. To understand something, write about it. To master something, teach it. - Steven Bartlett

P.S., this will hopefully be the most philosophical post on the blog!